Friday, October 26, 2007

Happy Beerday Bebe!

Due to the birthdate discrepancy that I have in my NSO birth certificate, I got to celebrate my birthday twice this month- Oct. 20 and 26. Pero mas feel ko pa rin ung 26, kse ngayon pa rin ako nigreet ng friends ko! :)

Woke up at 8am which is very unusual for me. Tumunog kse ung human alarm clock ko --- Mama's kakairitang nag, akala mo nakamegaphone na boses dahil there's another incident brought by Cholo's antics. May dinambahan sha na bata who's riding his bicycle. Ayun semplang galore ung bata, nakakaawa. Andami nyang bruises --- right at his knees, ankles, elbows, buti na lang wala sa mukha. Sobrang kinis at flawless pa man din nung bata, mukhang rich kid. As in rich kid na nagmukha akong yaya -- kakagising ko lang, walang hilamos, walang toothbrush at ayun career ang pagnunurse sa mga sugat ng lolo mo. Hydrogen Peroxide here, betadine there. At san ka pa, pinandigan nya ang pagsisilbi ko ha, "Ate dito pa meron po oh!". So un, pero nakakaawa tlga. Cute ung bata pero geeky ang look. Don't worry, wala akong interes noh, 15y/o lang ata un. hehehe. Nakakaloka pa kse may bruise din sha under his armpit, he showed it to me para makita ko ang severity nun impact ng kaengotan nya. Tapos eh di ang sabi ng mother mo eh "Taas mo shirt mo para malagyan natin ng betadine", and he was like "Gusto mo tanggalin ko na lang shirt ko" NAKAKALOKA! Baka mademanda pa ako na nangmomolescha ako ng bata noh! So I said, "Wag na, taas mo lang." :) Hahaha! Kakaloka, what a way to start my birthday noh - sermon kay mama, bwiset na cholo at kaawa-awang bata. Wish ko lang eh nde magdrama sa nanay nya ung bata et baka sumugod dito dala ang baranggay tanod para kunin si Cholo. Hai.

Enough of that.

So tonight, ako ang in-charge to cook the dinner, with the help of Narlyn as always. I was given a budget of 500php so I decided on cooking Hamonado, Gising-Gising, Crispy Tilapia and Mechado. Mala-Recipes ang menu ng mother mo daba?!?! Of course nde nagkasha ang 500 noh, abonado pa ako ng 150 bucks. Engot tlga ako sa budgeting cheverlu. Pero okay na rin, nabusog naman ang people dito. :)

Btw, according to the logistics people eh next week daw ang flight ko, they gave me a new itinerary, Thursday Nov. 1, kaso naman I'm worried of the 1-hour interval ng connecting flight. If there would be delays on my first flight, for sure maiiwanan ako nung connecting flight. So I requested na weekend na lang - Nov.3 or 4 kaso until now no reply from the travel agency daw. So mukhang madame pa akong tambay time. I'm not in a hurry naman so chillax lang. :)

p.s. Next time na yung pictures guys. Natatamad ako eh.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Good News and Bad News!!!

Bad News!
My connecting flight is still on waitlist, therefore, we have to defer my departure.

Good News!
I get to spend my birthday with my family before I leave the country! Yey! I just hope that in the new itinerary, my stopover is still in Singapore. Para makabili kame ni ate ng gift for me! Hehe! :)

Monday, October 15, 2007

Ang taba mo!

PF CS: Good morning ma'am.
Bebe: I'd like to inquire on the results of my medical exam.
PF CS: Your name ma'am?
Bebe: Christian Medina
PF CS: Ma'am, it has a "PENDING" classification po.
Bebe: How come? Are there any further findings?
PF CS: Ma'am, you're ** lbs. overweight po.
Bebe: Okay, I know! (Hello?! Obvious ba?!!) So are you saying that that's the only cause why the status is pending?! I'm still fit to work?! (High-pitched na ako nito. Hehe.) And how am I supposed to lose ** lbs. in 2 weeks time, huh?!!
PF CS: Not necessarily ma'am (un naman pala!), you just have to consult a doctor or dietician for you to get a medical clearance and advices on weight management.
Bebe: Okay then, will do that. Thanks.

Na-okray ang lola mo dun ha, in medical perspective nga lang. hehe.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

......a few of my friends, okay, mother rhea and ote in KL, have been posting private entries lately. hmmm?! and since those were private, i don't get to read them, unless they give me the password. hehehe. ote does give me her password sometimes. oh well, atleast i get to chat with them from time to time. they just had their broadband installed, so they're online most of the time. and of course, their multiply accounts are always updated. i get to see them and their new colleagues. madz, hope you get the message, since you have the broadband already, perhaps you can update your blogs as well. hihi! wala na akong mabasa eh. :) mishu!

......i mailed my contact person in logistics a few days ago to request for an earlier flight to singapore. drama galore ang email ng lola nyo, kesho "i want to spend a couple of more hours with my sister in SG" churva! oh well, proven to be effective. they booked another flight, around 7-11 am, of course within the same day. yipee! then the connecting flight has been retained, the following day pa un. bait nila ha! i've been really demanding in terms of the flight schedules and this would be the 3rd itinerary that they have booked. kumusta naman un?! atleast makakapasyal pa ako ng konti. kaso nga lang nde ko pa rin mabibisita sila madz in KL. huhu.

......the embassy had received my visa application last monday afternoon. pam monitored the package and she texted me yesterday morning na nareceive na sa KL ung package. just today, the embassy emailed me that the visa has been processed already. this is it! tuloy na talaga. ngayon pa lang nagsisink in sakin lahat. hai.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Preps of a Soon-To-Be OFW

Pwede ba expat na lang para mejo shala pakinggan?! hehehe!

Get ACN backpay to be used as show money - CHECK!
At long last, I got my last paycheck! Kumusta naman, sa dame ng nagreresign eh napakarami din ang kumukuha ng backpay the day I went to Libran. When I was in the elevator, may kasama akong ACN employee and I saw her blue proxy. Naisip ko, meron din ako nyan dati at nakailang paayos pa ako dahil laging nasisira! hehehe!

Request for Bank Certificate which will serve as "show money" for the visa application - CHECK!
I used my Metrobank savings account, actually, it used to be my payroll account when I was in ACN. Requesting for bank certificate has to be on your account branch talaga kaya I had to go to Atrium pa. At kumusta na naman, pinaligiran na naman ako ng ACN employees requesting for bank certificates as well. Mga masuswerteng mao-onshore un mga un. There were some na nagenroll naman for online banking, so ako naman, gumaya na rin. Hehe! Since Metrobank has swift code, I can remit money (from anywhere in the world) to this account and pay my bills online na lang. Galing!

Borrow FedEx account to avail the 2-way service for my passport - CHECK!
Buti na lang talaga at anjan ang SDV Phils., former office of my sister. They're very nice to lend me their International FedEx account. Thanks Tita Luz and Ate.

Apply for AFPSLAI account - CHECK!
This is where I will keep my savings. Imagine, every quarter the interest is 4%, so per annum 16%. Anlaki daba??!! However, this is only exclusive for AFP folks and their dependents. Since daddy was a former officer, actually a Lt. Colonel, and mommy's a civilian employee in Camp Aguinaldo, I, as a dependent, can open an account. Ansaya nga eh. Kaso ang downside eh they only allow 30K maximum deposit for every quarter. So nde kasha pera ko! Haha! Joke, yabang! Basta un, issuance of the passbook and ID would be this Thursday. Nga pla, isipin mo passbook sha pero 1K lang ang maintaining balance, galing dba?!

Have a Medical Checkup - CHECK!
Just had this last Friday. I really don't like having these medical exams. I opted to have it at Patient First since it was a lot cheaper compared to Asian Hospital. Haller, of course naman. Nagpaquote kse ako dun thru my cousin and she estimated more or less 5-6K. Eh sa PF 2K lang. So un, the usual tests but this time isang syringe ng dugo ang kinuha sakin. Naloka ako sabi ko, andami naman! Eh oo nga pla, napakaraming tests ang required sa blood ko like HIV chuva, Hepa B and mga iba pang kaartehan. Anyway, I will follow up the results this Monday and I'm dreading it! Kapag may findings sa urine ko and xray, nakow baka maging cause of delay pa un. You know, I'm a smoker, acidic and I think mataas ang sugar chuva ko. The urine test focused on sugar and albumin content kase. Kung anuman un, I hope wala nang findings! Lord, help me!!!

Send Visa Application to KL where the embassy is located - CHECK!
Thanks to my dear friend Pam who had helped me a lot on this matter. She's working as CS kse in FedEx, she told me how to avail the 2-way service, she'll be the one to monitor the package and request to pick up of my passport from KL after the processing. Thanks thanks Pam! I owe you one talaga!

Apply for Asenso Kabayan BDO Remittance Account - CHECK!
Eto gamit ni ate ngayon so nakigaya ulet ako. Nakakatuwa kse 100 bucks lang ang deposit!

Plane Ticket
Though meron nang nabook un employer, I'm still requesting for an earlier flight para I can spend a couple of more hours with Ate during my stopover at Singapore. Sana lang tlga may available flights na mas maaga ng ilang oras. Mejo naiinis na siguro sakin si Joyce from logistics, sobrang demanding ko na ata. hehe!

Get last paycheck from Amkor
This will be available after 45 working days pa, so Nov. 23 pa ata. I need to acquire 3 original copies of SPA for this to authorize Mama. She'll be the one to get my backpay na lang.

Check things to bring
I have my list already, actually, it's on excel pa nga kaso I haven't gone through my stuff yet. Mejo natatamad pa ako and I need to buy a few formal clothes pa. Balik business wear na naman ang lola nyo! Pwede kaya havaianas dun?! Hehehe! Dating gawi, habang nagcocode, nakaslippers lang, pag tatayo na saka lang isusuot ang pumps or mules. hehe.


I still have a lot of stuff to prepare. Nakow, crossed fingers na lang talaga ako sa visa. Nde naman siguro sila maarte. Naman, gumastos na ako sa medical ha! Hehe!

Dress My Nest

I was waiting for the rerun of ANTM just this evening when I came across ETC's new show entitled Dress My Nest. It was very interesting and it's not just any other show about interior design. What they do is check out your style and ask you to wear your most favorite outfit. From there, they will revamp your place using your style as the inspiration. On the episode that I've just watched, there's this new recording artist who considers herself as a boho chic. She chose a multi-layered dress with different patterns, wore a lot of beads and accessories with shells that reminds her of San Diego. The makeover of her loft turned out to be really amazing and seeing the details most of the new stuffs have the same prints with her dress, like the pillows and even the carpet. They used beads in accessorizing the curtains and there's this one lovely lamp made of capiz. I wish I could show you a picture but I couldn't find any on their site. You can catch the show every Sunday 8:30pm at ETC.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Kumusta naman ang mga trip ng mga dear munings ko!

It’s getting hot in here…- Nice on top of AVR

Katkat’s Crib AND/OR Microwaveable for pasta

Katkat on her everyday siesta!

Lima na lang, aandar na! – Katkat, Naughty, Mingming & Nice

Hello KL!

My passport is on its way to KL, Malaysia. WITHOUT ME. :( Buti pa sha, lumarga na! Say hi na lang to my madz over there! :)

Marlboro Rocks!

I got this mail a couple of days ago.





Advance greetings and birthday gift from Marlboro! Kumusta naman un, ang shala!

It’s a discount card valid for 3 months which starts on my birthday. 20 bucks off for every purchase of Marlboro 20’s flip top box at any branch of Ministop or Robinson’s Supermarket. Yey! How much does a flip top cost these days na ba? Say 30 pesos, imagine I can get it for 10 pesos na lang?! For 1K, may 100 flip tops na ako! Ang saya! Hehe! Thanks Marlboro, alam nyo talaga na ako na ata No. 1 consumer nyo. hehehe!

BUT THEN, I won’t be able to make use of that card na. Nde ko na maabutan! Kainis! Corny! Buset!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Marami akong kalokohan na ginawa lately. I had all the time to do a lot of stuff online due to the fact that there was no requirement assigned to us last September. I was able to download a bunch of MP3s from multiply and minor crisis, watch most of Happy Slip's videos in YouTube, back up all the necessary documents and useful stuff, watch a lot of MakeMeLOL videos, install applications like jpeg compressor (know what, i was very amazed at how it can compress a 2MB pix into a 400KB image without causing any visible difference in image quality) and last but not the least, I was able to create 2 more blogs na mukhang nde ko na naman maaasikaso. hehe. Thanks to internet proxies! Nde ko muna sasabihin kung anu ung urls ng mga un kse wala pa silang kakwenta kwenta. hehehe. O cge na nga eto na, ay wag na lang muna pala. Labo ko. :)

IN FAIRNESS by John Lapus a.k.a. Sweet

In fairness

12:48 am on Thursday, September 27, 2007

Na-delay na naman akong mag-post ng new blog. Naloka kasi ako sa mga comments niyo na “Cut!” is my best blog ever. Sa mga naiyak at the same time natawa, that’s the idea. I always make it a point to laugh at the things that make me cry. Anyway, na-pressure tuloy akong sundan. In fairness, nakaisip ako ng bago.

Ewan ko kung napansin ninyo pero madalas kong gamitin dito ang words na “in fairness.” Maski pag nagsasalita, maya’t-maya nagsasabi ako ng “in fairness.” Madalas ko ‘yan gamitin pero recently ko lang nalaman na two words pala ‘yon. Before, when I type those two words, ang nalalagay ko, “infairness.” Tanga.

Favorite ko ang “in fairness” kasi napaka-positive. It’s like seeing the good in things that are bad.

Ang pangit ng damit niya pero, in fairness, na-carry niya.

Malakas ang dating mo, Sweet, pero in fairness, mabait ka pala.

Ano ba naman ‘yang si Pia, laging naka-mini. Pero in fairness, sister, bagay sa kanya.

Bakla daw ‘yang si matinee idol pero, in fairness, ang daming fans at super talented.

Alam mo, Sweet, ang pangit ni Lani Misalucha noong araw pero, in fairness, siya ang pinakamagaling kumanta para sa akin.

It’s like seeing the sunshine after the rain.

Namatay ang tatay ko September of last year. In fairness, nabuhay ang career ko sa GMA the week after.

Lahat ng jowa mo, Sweet, niloko ka. Pero in fairness, ang dami mong kaibigan.

Super lugi ang GRAFFiTi, Sweet, pero in fairness, thankful ang mga staff mo kasi hindi mo sinasara.

Sweet, ano na ang nangyari kay Carlos Agassi? In fairness, ang gwapo pa din niya.

John, kawawa naman si Jennylyn, naipit sa GMA at kay Becky. In fairness, hindi naman daw siya pababayaan ng GMA.

It’s like seeing the silver lining in every dark cloud.

Grabe, buntis si Camille Prats. In fairness, nasa tamang age naman na siya at mukang masaya siya.

Kawawa naman si Ate Guy, walang pelikula. In fairness naman daw, happy siya sa piling ni Nori sa Amerika.

Grabe, nag-call boy pala ‘yang matinee idol na ‘yan noong araw. In fairness, noong nagkapera siya, tumulong sa pamilya.

Sweet, nagsara na pala ang Klownz Araneta. In fairness, may mga bago daw gimik na aabangan sa ibang branch dahil entertainment director na si Phillip Lazaro.

Alam mo, Sweet, hindi kita gusto noong araw. In fairness, napahiya ako nang makilala kita.

Maraming “in fairness” sa buhay ko. Yung mga pangit hinanapan ko ng magandang resulta at nasabi ko talaga sa sarili ko na, “in fairness.”

Last summer, may mga nakilala akong boys sa GRAFFiTi. Mga students sila ng UST. Nakipag-chikahan ako sa kanila, which I normally do sa mga customers namin. Habang nag-chichikahan kami, nag-text ang mga kaibigan kong bakla.

“Sweet, sino ‘yang mga ‘yan? Ang gagwapo. Hada ba ‘yan? Pakilala mo kami.”

Nag-text back ako, “Naku mga sisters, mga anak-mayaman. UST. Friendly lang.”

Anyway, pinakilala ko pa din sila. Kanya-kanyang chika na ang mga bakla. Yung type ko, binakuran ko talaga. Hahaha. One time, nakita ko ulit ang mga UST boys sa esQuinita, where GRAFFiTi is located, at kasama na nila ang mga friends kong ipinakilala ko sa kanila. Gosh, dinapuan ako ng insecurity nang bonggang-bongga. Hindi ko na-get ang concept na kasama ng mga friends ko ang mga boys na ako ang nagpakilala at ako hindi. Later ko na lang nalaman na nag-emote pala yung type ko sa mga barkada niya na hinipuan ko daw siya. Siyempre, naloka na naman ako. Hindi ko ugali’ng manghipo.

Nag-effort ako to death para kaibiganin ang mga boys. Painom at pagimik para makapag-bonding. Admittedly, gusto kong mabago ang pagtingin nila sa akin. In fairness, nagbago naman daw. Marami pa akong ginawang kagagahan para lang maging ka-close ko sila. Nagkatampuhan pa kami noong isa kong friend dahil nabwiset nga ako na hindi niya ko iniinvite sa mga chikahan nila, e, ako naman ang nagpakilala sa kanya sa mga boys. Na-explain naman niya sa akin na it was actually the boys who were aloof to me kaya ayaw nila akong makasama at first. Point taken, kasi madalas mangyari ‘yon.

Bihira ko ng makita ang mga UST boys. In fairness, some of them still text me once in a while. Sa ibang lugar na sila gumigimik, minsan daw with my friends. Last time I heard, some of them pinasok ng mga friends ko sa trabaho. In fairness sa mga kaibigan ko, matulungin sila.

I promised myself na hindi na ako kakaibigan ng mga boys other than the ones I have now. Magastos. At kung meron mang makipagkaibigan sa akin, baka hindi ko na pakilala sa mga gay friends ko. Talo ako in comparison sa ugali. Motherly at submissive ang mga kaibigan ko, samantalang ako, loud and spunky. Hahaha. Aminado naman ako.

In fairness, nabago ‘yan last week. I think it was a Wednesday night. Isang table lang na all-boys ang customer ng GRAFFiTi. Ang popogi. Mukhang mga disente kasi nag-i-English, may mga car keys at sosyal ang mga cellphone. Lumapit yung isa. Picture daw with me. Nakainom na ang mga loko. Inofferan ako ng beer. I told them hindi ako nagbi-beer at tequila girl ako. Ang kulit. Libre daw nila ako ng tequila. Sabi ko, huwag na kasi may imbak naman ako.

Ang ending, nag-bonding kami to death that night. Nakakatawa yung question and answer portion namin. Prangkahan—from sexual experiences to sex organs, pati na rin love life at career. Niyaya pa nila ako sa isang club after namin sa GRAFFiTi. Pucha, first time ako nalibre ng lalaki ng drinks. Feeling ko, girl ako. Alam noong isa na type ko siya pero hindi na aloof sa akin. That time, muntik na akong manghipo for the first time. Hahaha. Sa dami ng mga babae sa club that night, sa akin pa siya nakipagsayaw. Grabe!!! Feeling ko panaginip lang or lasing na yata ako.

Palitan kami ng numbers at textan ng mga “hi at hello.” Ininvite nila ako to watch NCAA sa Araneta. I asked them kung ano ‘yon. Para daw yung UAAP pero mga ibang school naman. Championship na daw kasi.

Sa Araneta ako galing today, Wednesday. Letran vs. San Beda. Pag nag-win ang Letran, may isang game pa daw on Friday pero pag San Beda nag-win, champion na daw. Grabe, nasa harap ang tiket na nilibre nila sa akin, nakaka-touch. First time ako nalibre ng mga lalaki ng tiket. Kahit tiket ng bus hindi pa ako nalibre ng lalaki. Champion ang San Beda.

Tuwang-tuwa ang mga new friends kong San Beda boys dahil champion sila for two consecutive years. In fairness, sa na-experience ko with them, champion din ako.

CUT! by John Lapus a.k.a. Sweet

Cut!

12:27 am on Saturday, September 22, 2007

It was September 20 of last year when I got a call from Ms. Lani Mercado at around 7:00 pm. We saw each other the week before, when I guested on QTV 11’s Moms. She got my number because she wanted me to host the birthday party of her husband, Senator Bong Revilla, the following weekend.

Nagpapamasahe ako when I recieved her call. Galing ako that day sa taping ng Lovely Day ni Love Anover, kung saan pinahawak nila ako ng mga ahas, palaka, at ipis. Sinagot ko agad ang tawag niya kasi baka ma-victim si Ms. Lani ng ringback tone ko na akala mo ako na ang kausap mo pero hindi pa pala. I thought the call was about Bong’s birthday party. I was wrong.

JOHN: Hello. Yes, Ms. Lani? What can I do for you?

LANIE: Hi, Sweet. I don’t know how to say this. Your father passed away an hour ago. Nasa PGH (Philippine General Hospital) si Bong ngayon taking care of everything. I will text you the number of Direk Felix so you can coordinate with him. Magkakasama sila doon.

Marami pang sinabi si Ms. Lani pero parang hindi ko na maintindihan. I was visualizing the face of my father pero hindi kumakagat. I was thinking of the last time I saw him pero hindi ko din maalala. I tried to analyze kung paano ba dapat mag-react ang isang tao pag nalaman mo na namatay na ang tatay mong umiwan sa iyo noong bata ka pa. Nag-isip din ako kung paano ko tatawagan ang Ate ko about the news, e, almost eight years na kaming hindi nag-uusap. At ang pinaka, paano ko sasabihin sa Nanay kong nasa Amerika na patay na ang lalaking pinakamamahal niya? Ang dami kong inisip, but honestly, I felt nothing.

Kumalat na pala sa mga taga-showbiz through text na patay na ang tatay ko. Some of my friends, nag-text na agad sa akin ng “condolence.” Yung iba na talagang close ko, nag-volunteer pa na sasamahan daw ako basta pumunta lang ako. I told them not to worry at pupunta talaga ako, tatapusin ko lang ang massage session ko.

Mga 9:00 p.m., sa Funeraria Paz na ako pinapunta ni Sen. Bong. Paalis na daw kasi sila sa PGH. Saktong pagdating ko, padating na din sila. Si Bong ang sumalubong sa akin. He hugged me and whispered, “kilala mo na ba si Adora?” I said yes.

Adora is the woman na kinakasama ng tatay ko bago siya namatay. May isa silang anak named Joey Anne, who is now a nursing student in Lipa, Batangas. Doon yata sila nakatira. Nakakatawa kasi magkamukha ang Ate ko at si Joey Anne. So bale, tatlo kaming magkakapatid na babae at prangkahan na, ako ang pinakamaganda. Hahaha. I hugged both Adora and my half-sister.

By 10:00 p.m. na dumating sina Rudy Fernandez at Phillip Salvador, who were also friends of my father. Writer ang tatay ko ng mga action movies—mostly mga pelikula nina Bong at Daboy.

Dumating na din ang TV crew. Buti na lang naikwento na sa akin ni Bong ang mga nangyari kaya alam ko na ang isasagot sa mga crew na dumating. I did my best na magmukhang malungkot when they interviewed me. Habang nangyayari ang mga ito, nakita kong kinakausap na ng Funeraria Paz staff si Adora.

Daboy requested na puntahan daw namin ang bangkay ng Tatay ko sa morgue. Bong and Kuya Ipe agreed, so I asked the Paz staff kung pwede. Pumayag naman at sinamahan pa nila kami. Mga anim na bangkay ang nandoon that night. Nasa may pinto lang ang sa tatay ko since siya ang latest arrival.

Humagulgol ang Titanic Action Star na si Bong, lumuha ang Urian Best Actor na si Kuya Ipe, at niyakap naman ni Daboy ang bangkay ng tatay ko. Nainggit ako sa kanila. Ganoon dapat yata din ang reaction ko pero bakit hindi ko magawa. Nakakaloka yung tatlo, yakapin ko daw ang tatay ko. Hindi nga ako sumisilip sa patay, yakap pa kaya. Siyempre, ginawa ko naman pero wala pa din akong naramdaman.

Ganoon pala pag yumakap ka sa bangkay. Alam mo na ‘yon yung tao na ‘yon, pero you know na wala na siya doon.

After naming pumunta sa morgue, Bong asked the Paz staff kung pwedeng akyat na daw kami sa kinuha niyang chapel for my father since ang dami ng tao sa lobby. Nag-agree naman sila kahit nililinis pa ang chapel at hindi pa tapos ang paper works.

By this time, may mahadera akong kaibigan na tumawag na pala sa Ate ko at sinabi na patay na nga ang pinakamamahal niyang Tatay. Siyempre ang Ate ko na mahadera din, e, tinawagan agad ang Nanay ko sa Amerika. Nasira tuloy ang hinanda kong eksena sa utak ko.

Back to back sina Nanay at Ate sa pag-text sa akin ng kung ano na daw ang nangyayari at nasaan na daw ang bangkay. Kahit sa text, damang-dama kong hysterical silang dalawa. Kaloka!

Habang nag-iisip ako ng mga isasagot kay Nanay at Ate nilapitan ako ng isang staff ng Paz.
PAZ: John Lapus, excuse me. Tatay mo pala ang namatay.

JOHN: Opo. Bakit po?

PAZ: E, kasi may nagsabi sa amin na hindi mo pala nanay yung pumirma. Hindi pwede ‘yon since a death certificate is a legal document. Legitimate wife or children lang ang pwedeng mag-sign.

JOHN: Naku, e, nasa Amerika po ang Nanay ko. Ate ko ba pwede?

PAZ: Kung dalaga pa siya, ok lang, pero mas ok kung ikaw kasi pareho kayo ng apelyido.

JOHN: Ah, ok. Ako na lang po.

It was then that I found out na Adora Lapus pala ang pinirma ni Adora kahit hindi sila kasal ng tatay ko at lalong hindi naman annulled or divorced ang Nanay at Tatay ko. To my surprise, mali din ang date of birth ng Tatay ko na nailagay ni Adora. I do know na one year lang ang tanda ni Tatay kay Nanay. At ang pinaka sa lahat, e, hindi alam ni Adora ang real name ng Tatay kong si Jojo Lapus. So ang ending kailangan kong tawagan si Nanay to double check all the facts about my father. Ayaw ko pa nga sana siyang tawagan kasi alam kong emotional pa siya, pero kailangan na daw i-process ang papers. Maryosep!

JOHN: Hello, Madir.

NANAY: O, ano ng nangyari? Tawagan mo Ate mo. Gusto na niyang pumunta diyan. Ano daw ang ‘kinamatay? Diyos ko naman. Huhuhu…

JOHN: Ay, hindi ka pa pala ready. Tawag na lang ako ulit.

Binaba ko ang phone and called when she texted me na ok na daw siya. Ayokong naririnig or nakikitang umiiyak ang Nanay ko.

By 3:00 a.m., pinasundo ko na sa driver ko ang Ate ko. Ang feeling ko, calm na siya by the time she arrives. I did not want her to be hystercial since siya pregnant noon. Mali ako ng akala. Sa lobby pa lang ng Paz, e, hinimatay na ang bruha. Muntik nang mapisak ang tiyan niya.

After a few minutes, e, kaya na daw niya kaya sinamahan ko na siya sa morgue. Ang Ate ko ay yung typical na namatayan at nakita sa news na ang sigaw niya habang umiiyak, “Bakit? Bakit? Bakit?” Halos sagutin ko na siya ng, “Heart attack! Heart attack! Heart attack!” But I understood her reaction. Very close sila ng Tatay namin. Kay Tatay niya unang sinabi when she got pregnant at the age of 16. Ganon sila ka-close.

Eto na ang punchline. Since naunang dumating sina Adora at Joey Anne sa Paz by 4:00 a.m., natutulog na sila sa family room. E, dumating na nga si Ate at gusto niya na din daw matulog sa family room. Lagot. Say talaga ng Ate ko na mas mataray pa sa akin “Dumating na ang tunay na pamilya. Pwede na silang umuwi. Gusto ko nang matulog sa ‘family’ room!”

Hahaha. Nataranta na naman ako. Nakalimutan kong bw*set nga pala si Ate kay Adora. Buti na lang at nandoon pa si Bong. Hiyang-hiya ako kay Bong. Siya na nagbayad ng gastos sa Paz, eto at pinapakiusapan ko pa na kausapin si Adora.

I told Bong na noong huling nakita ng Ate ko si Adora, hinampas niya ng flower vase sa ulo. Nataranta si Bong. Tinawagan niya si Direk Felix at Portia Ilagan at inutusang kausapin si Adora.

Ang ending, ako pa ang kumausap at nakiusap kay Adora na kung pwede, umalis muna. How I wished that things were simpler, na sana pareho silang nandoon ng Ate ko sa iisang kuwarto. How I wished na pareho kami ng Ate ko na hindi emotional. How I wished na hindi hysterical ang Ate ko. How I wished na nakalimutan na ng Ate ko na si Adora ang ipinalit ng Tatay namin sa amin. How I wished na eksena lang ang lahat sa pelikula at pwede akong sumigaw ng “Cut!”

Kinausap ako ng kapatid ng Tatay ko na kung pwede daw, huwag na sa libingan ng mga Lapus sa Candaba, Pampanga, ang libing dahil nagbabaha nga daw doon. So kailangan kong maghanap ng paglilibingan sa Tatay ko two days before his interment.

Nanay decided not to go home. I agreed. Hindi ko papayagang sumabak sa gano’ng eksena ang Nanay ko. If ever, dalawa sila ni Adora na nakaupo sa harapan ng ataol at umiiyak. Nakakatawa. Baka malito ang tao kung sino ang babatiin ng condolence. At sa mga na-experience kong eksena, buti na lang nga at wala ang Nanay ko doon.

My half-sister Joey Anne is very pleasant. May breeding at tahimik lang. Alam kung saan lulugar. I’m very sure na magiging magaling siyang nurse someday. I made her feel that it was not her fault.

Si Joey Anne lang ang kinausap ni Ate during the funeral. Dumadating sila ng gabi to attend the mass at umaalis din ng madaling-araw. May mga bisita silang nagpunta kahit wala sila. Alam kong bisita nila ‘yon kasi hindi ako nilapitan.

Pangalan ko, ni Ate, Joey Anne, at mga pamangkin ko lang ang nilagay na names sa ataul. Pangit nga naman na may Sally at Adora on both sides. Nagpagawa na lang ako ng malaking korona na itinabi ko sa coffin, pinalagyan ko ito ng “from your loving wife Sally.”

Cremation ang ginawa sa tatay ko. Hinati kasi na parang asukal ang kanyang abo. Say talaga ng staff sa crematorium, “Paano po ang hatiin? 50/50 or 70/30? Sa mga chinese nga po minsan hinahati namin sa apat, e.” Nag-agree na ako sa 50/50. In fairness kay Bong, dalawang urn din na magkatulad ang binili niya.

Dalawang urn ang lumabas sa Funeraria Paz after the cremation. Isang papuntang Commonwelth Avenue at isa naman na papuntang Lipa, Batangas.

Pag-uwi ko ng bahay ko that night at saka lang akong naiyak. Hindi ko na alam kung gaano katagal akong umiyak kasi wala akong nadinig na sumigaw ng “Cut!”

Random Blabbering...

>>> Since last week, bum has been my middle name. Staying at home and figuring out what to do the whole day is not that easy. I'm beginning to die of boredom really. It's funny coz during the time that I was employed, I was always finding ways to absent myself and believe me, I have been the queen of alibis. So if you're having a hard time thinking of a valid reason to tell your boss, just sms me. I tell you, I can make a living out of this skill.

>>> I've just proven that stress from work is the main cause why I have boobies on my back. haha. I meant, such stress is what makes me fat. You see, now that I'm unemployed, I find it really surprising that I have lost my big appetite. I'm not really on a diet or anything, but these past few days, I am not having the itch to make myself another helping of every meal. Shocking, really, knowing me, I used to have atleast 2 "labays" (ilocano term for plateful) every time I eat.

>>> Cholita passed away last Sunday. :( She has been acting gloomy and low-spirited since Saturday. I guess she was going through the phase where her body's getting rid of parasites and so she suffered from severe vomiting until it came to a point where she was discharging blood. We tried to feed her spoonfuls of brown sugar but unfortunately she wasn't able to recover. I remember Cholo undergoing this phase too during his early months and it went on for more or less 2 weeks. He managed to hold on and luckily he had recovered. Like Polar, Cholits, we'll miss you. :(

>>> I'm already done with my movie/series marathon. Was able to finish Kyle XY Season 2 and as usual, bitin ulet. I still have the Drawn Together Seasons 1-3 in my external hard disk but since Kuya brings his laptop to his office and I find it uncomfy watching it in the desktop, I think I'll just save it for later. Honestly, I miss watching TV series where you have to hold your pee dahil maraming climax throughout the season, so now I plan on borrowing DVDs of 24 from our neighbor. hehe. Don't worry bloggy, I'll find time to update you naman.

>>> Last Sunday, after having watched the showbiz talkshows during the afternoon, Yann and I decided to check out the blogs of local celebrities. We were quite intrigued by the father of Cam Prats' baby and so we googled him. Unfortunately, we found no picture. Corny. So, we continued blog hopping until we came across Jonh Lapus' (a.k.a. "Sweet") blog. It was fuckin' hilarious and I promise to post some of his entries soon. hehe.